My struggle with adrenal fatigue...there I am lying on the bathroom floor...
So there I am lying on my bathroom floor, tears streaming down my face as my dreams of being a mother crash down around me. I’m lying there, losing my baby...
I get you, you’re struggling. I know how you feel. It’s been very real for me.
Just 3 years ago, I was experiencing the worst health of my life. My health had been going downhill for several years at that point, but I was a pretty healthy person so I didn’t’ really understand what was going on. And from the outside I looked perfectly healthy. What was I complaining about? Was I a hypochondriac?
The truth is I was miserable every day and then my poor health lead to the most difficult experience of my life.
Before I was diagnosed with stage 3 adrenal fatigue, for years I was waking up every morning exhausted, feeling like I didn’t even sleep, anxious constantly about eating because of my food sensitivities, and in pain and irritable from skin conditions like psoriasis and eczema.
I was experiencing symptoms of hypothyroidism and poor digestion, my vision of getting progressively worse and my allergies got really bad, to where I couldn’t taste, smell or breathe through my nose. I was always sick and my memory was declining, and I felt like no one understood me and some even thought I was crazy.
In those few years, I saw numerous doctors, traditional and alternative, various health specialists and none of them could figure out what was wrong with me, and every time I left an appointment, I felt hopeless and frustrated because I wasn’t getting ANY answers.
One doctor told me in order to manage my symptoms I was going to have to take several medications for the rest of my life and that terrified me.
I didn’t think it could get any worse and then it did...
The worst part of it all was I was too sick and in pain to even enjoy life, so I missed out. I was at the lowest point of my life. I imagine many of you here can relate. I didn't think it could get any worse and then it did...
It was 2012, my husband and I were desperately trying to get pregnant for over a year. Even though that wasn’t that long in the grand scheme of things we were starting to question if it was possible. Meanwhile, my health just kept declining. After a year of failed attempts, I realized that my health was so poor that it was best to take a break from trying. I needed to make my own health the priority.
It was only a couple months later that we found out, we are in fact 8 weeks pregnant. Of course we are ecstatic after our struggle with infertility and starting the preparations to be parents. We spent the next couple of weeks, making doctors’ appointments and interviewing midwives and doulas, we are imagining this little being in our lives. I was so nauseous, exhausted and ravenous. My breasts were achy, but it didn’t matter, because our dreams had finally come true.
the nightmare began 2 weeks after my 12 week ultrasound...
I remember this day like it was yesterday. There I am lying on my bathroom floor, tears streaming down my face as my dreams of being a mother crash down around me. I’m lying there, losing my baby. I’m in so much physical pain, but it’s nothing compared to the excruciating emotions I felt as I lay there, trying to digest this trauma of losing the child I will never know. As I look into my husband’s eyes, I feel shame, pure devastation and complete, utter heart break. In this moment I feel so powerless.
The next few days were a blur and I wasn’t sure how to move on. I was at the end of my rope. I had hit rock bottom.
It was in this dark place that I made a decision, a decision that would change my life forever.
I decided that I wouldn't live like this any longer. I was going to take control of my health, once and for all, so I wouldn’t have to feel this powerless ever again.
I refused. I was going to get to the bottom of my health issues. And that was the day everything change. I spent the next few months researching like crazy, reading whatever I could get my hands on, learning as much as I could. After a few months of this, I finally got real answers.
I was diagnosed with stage 3 adrenal fatigue by my amazing Acupuncturist. And with that diagnosis, things FINALLY started making sense. Thank goodness!!
I got on a healing protocol and started working with a handful of different practitioners addressing not only my symptoms and my hormones, but the mental and emotional parts of myself. It was clear what had caused my adrenal fatigue, years of chronic stress without REAL joy and relaxation. So, I said goodbye to these old sabotaging patterns and started to make ME a priority. I started incorporating mindfulness practices and self-care in to my daily routine. I started working to change my mindset around my health.
I made lots of mistakes along my recovery journey, but once I had an action plan that addressed all parts of myself; mind, body and spirit, I did heal from stage 3 adrenal fatigue very quickly and without drugs.
My recovery taught me to believe and always keep fighting even when doctors tell you it’s hopeless. Through my roller-coaster of a journey, I finally became the person I've always desired to be healthy, balanced and most importantly happy. And even better, I got pregnant soon after and had a very healthy baby boy.
But my journey wasn't over. Unfortunately, I saw so many people in the Facebook groups I was a part of, struggling so much with adrenal fatigue. When I shared that I healed from stage 3, everyone kept asking me how I did it. So I shared my story and how I did it.
But, people wanted more. They were craving a plan, a system.
I was hearing heart-breaking story after heartbreaking story, wishing I could do something else to help.
I didn't want so many people to have to go through what I did or worse.
But who was I to do anything?
After months of wondering what to do and how to help, I realized something...
I could in fact help.
This inspired me to create the healyouradrenalfatigue.com community with lots of free resources. I spent countless hours, despite having a newborn, recording many how-to videos of what I had learned for my YouTube channel "Adrenal Fatigue TV". And over the past few years, I brought together a team of experts to develop an AF recovery program.
So even though my struggle was painful, devastating, heart-breaking it seems worth it in a way because now I can help thousands around the world who are also struggling with adrenal fatigue and having similar experiences with their health like infertility, miscarriage and so much more.
If you're reading this and can relate in some shape or form, please share a comment below. Your share could be just what someone else needs to hear.